Edited by Nina Litvak & Salvador Litvak, the Accidental Talmudist
And his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, so they hated him, and they could not speak with him peacefully.
Gen. 37:4
Rabbi Shmuel Reichman, International Speaker, Bestselling Author, and Business Coach
The story of the Avos and the brothers is a story of facing one challenge after another… but why? Well, if I were to ask you, “What is the wealthiest place in the universe?” what would you answer? You might suggest the banks, the diamond mines, or something along these lines. But in a sense, the wealthiest place in the world is the graveyard. Why? It is there that you’ll find dreams never chased after, ideas and inspiration never acted upon, books never written, organizations never built — endless potential never actualized. There are, however, a few rare individuals out there who do act on their dreams and inspiration, who truly live lives of greatness. They maximize their time and actualize as much of their potential as possible. These rare individuals shine a light into this world and serve as an inspiration to others. Their existence alone inspires those around them to become more, to want more, to demand more from themselves, and to raise their standards. Fascinatingly, many of these unique people have undergone tremendous challenges. They’ve been thrown down, torn apart, and pushed to the brink. And yet, they rose up, stronger than ever before, driven to greatness, serving as an inspiration to others. This begs the obvious question: did they become great despite their challenges or because of them? The Torah answers this question with the story of the Avos and the brothers: it is only because of our challenges that we can rise to achieve our true potential!
Rabbi Ari Averbach, Temple Etz Chaim, Thousand Oaks
In fifth grade, my teacher Mrs. Haas had us memorize important documents from American history – the Declaration of Independence, the Preamble, The New Colossus. My dad added to my curriculum, encouraging me to memorize Rudyard Kipling’s “If”. The poem is a litany of impossible lifetime goals that a person ought to strive for. The first stanza ends, “If you can wait and not be tired by waiting/ Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies/ Or being hated, don’t give way to hating…” This is Joseph’s life. His brothers lie about him (and later Potiphar’s wife does as well) but Joseph refuses to lie. He patiently waits for his life to unfold. Here, in today’s verse, he is being hated for reasons that he can only begin to understand, but he refuses to play that game. Spanish commentator Ibn Ezra (1089-1167) notes that the translation should be, “they can’t even say Shalom/Hello to him.” French commentator (and my favorite of the Medieval commentators) Rabbi David Kimchi (1160-1235) writes that his brothers could not speak to Joseph without fighting. And Joseph never argues back. His childhood is surrounded by hate and loneliness – his father being his only ally – and he does his best to live his truth. If his brothers hate him, he will not give way to their hating. We can still say Shalom and do our best to avoid disagreement. The next line of the Kipling poem is about dreams, but that’s for another week.
Gilla Nissan, Teacher of Kabbalah and author of: “Meditations with the Hebrew Letters- A Guide for the modern Seeker”
Jealousy in Torah. Genesis has several family stories motivated by jealousy: Cain and Abel, Sarah and Hagar, Joseph and his brothers. Each story in Torah stands for a state of mind. Jealousy is a state of mind. It rises when we compare ourselves to others and from there it goes downhill, to hate and even killing. We want things that don’t belong to us. We don’t understand how to handle the inequality of mind and body. We don’t understand divine favoritism. In fact, we are even jealous and compete with God Almighty. Look at all the false gods in human history; Phero, Siddhartha, Yeshu, Japanese rulers and other kings and queens. We try to concretize God all the time. Jealousy is a sign that we forgot our place, how special and unique each of us is, that there is only one like each of us and that we need to be that one because nobody else will or can. When we arrive closer to our true authentic self, jealousy disappears. We realize ourselves; we discover who we are. New life begins. Life worth living. It takes luck and much work to become our true self, where there is no need to compare and try to be someone else. My teacher of spirituality once said, if you really want something that is in another, you will get the whole backpack, not just that particular thing we envy. Our God, Torah teaches, is a jealous God, but that is a very different Story.
Gila Muskin Block, Executive Director, Yesh Tikva
When I read this pasuk, I paused to take in how poignant the message was to my life in 2024, a timeless lesson about human nature and relationships. The pasuk recounts Yaakov’s overt love for Yosef. “Their father loved him more” which begot jealousy and resentment among the other brothers. “They hated him so that they could not speak a friendly word to him.” As Rav Hirsh explains, “The extremes generated each other. The father’s love produced the brothers’ hatred.” The beauty of the Torah as a blueprint for life is that it does not shy away from portraying human flaws. Instead, it uses them to teach us how to navigate the complexities of relationships—with our families, communities, and with God. According to Rav Hirsh, Yaakov’s flaw as a parent was his singular intense love of only one of his children which generated an opposite emotion among the other siblings of deep hatred toward Yosef. This invites us to reflect on how our actions, as parents, siblings, or friends, ripple through the lives of others. On a personal note, building meaningful relationships can feel challenging at times, and I spend much time listening to podcasts and reading books on the topic. I take comfort in knowing that I am not the only one to have struggled with this. I’m learning from the mistakes and successes of our forefathers and foremothers. The lessons remind us to strive for compassion, humility, and empathy in our interactions with others, as we are all human and have room for growth.
Rabbi Chanan Gordon, Author and International Speaker
The famous pasuk in Parshas Vayeshev, 37:4 which describes the animosity that the brothers of Joseph had towards him – “… and his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, so they hated him, and they could not speak with him peacefully” – underscores one of the most important life lessons. As mere mortals, we tend to project our myopic perception onto Hashem. The commentators point out that the brothers viewed their father’s special love for Yosef as coming at their expense – i.e. – the human flaw of thinking in zero-sum terms. Harboring this erroneous notion caused the brothers to have disdain for Yosef. Hashem’s love for one person is never at the expense of another. He is unlimited and has the capacity to do that which we humans cannot. Understanding this concept is essential to appreciating the fact that whatever ‘goodies’ someone else may have been given, did not deplete your spiritual back account. The next time you feel any kind of animus to another person because you think the fact that they got a wonderful job or a selfless spouse somehow means there is now one less respectable job or giving spouse in the world, remember not to make the same mistake as the brothers. Hashem has an Infinite supply of “goodies,” and because someone else got the break this time, rest assured, Hashem will never run out of good things to give you when you deserve it!
Image: “Joseph and his Brothers” by Ottavio Vannini c. 1630
With thanks to
Rabbi Shmuel Reichman, Rabbi Ari Averbach, Gilla Nissan, Gila Muskin Block, and Rabbi Chanan Gordon.
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